The Abandoned Gifts

It's the usual morning ,with smell of bacon and coffee. Two cups , two plates , everything as a pair. I don't exactly know what is different , but something seems off. Everything looks the same , but something feels strange . I slowly walk towards the dining table , a cup of coffee in each hand -walking towards her. She knows I'm approaching her , yet she says nothing. Slowly ,I put the cups on the table and sit down . She still says nothing , doesn't even touch her food.
"Sweetie , are you still angry?"
No answer.
"Please tell me how I can ever make up for my mistakes"
Still no answer.
I've known her for years , she will never talk to me when she's still angry . I sigh ,and slowly start munching my bacon. She's been this way for days now , I tried apologizing and apologizing but she still stands firm with her silent treatment .Maybe I should grab her a bouquet of lilies or her favorite cakes on my way back after work today. Suddenly,she stands up and walks back to her room , breakfast still untouched.
I know exactly why she's angry ,it's all my fault , I didn't even remember her birthday days ago. To make things worse , I scolded her on her birthday just because she accidentally spilled some coffee on my office files. I shouldn't have let anger get the best of me , I could always reprint those silly papers anyway. I'm always busy and I understand she feels neglected...
It's another day at the office , full of endless tasks assigned to me by the boss . Kevin the office staff timidly asked,"Sir , are you...okay? Are you really ready for this?". I guess my face looks really exhausted right now to have a staff asking this. "I am fine , thank you. Today I plan to leave office earlier to buy some...gifts for my lover. Do you know of any good thing to give?". He makes that sad face I fail to grasp , then forces a smile.
On my way back , I decided to grab some of her favorite cupcakes .I told the pastry guy to write "For Sheila ,With Love" and he just nods. I feel like he's real quiet these days ,even though he used to be so talkative-perhaps he is having some life problems right now. I shouldn't be prying on others' business. I go back home , just to find the house in total darkness.
Sheila's out ,she's not home . I slowly sigh when I pass by her room door. A teddy bear , a box of perfumes and some tiny trinkets I got her as an apology...Nothing has moved from the positions I left them on. She really is angry this time , isn't she? I place the box of cupcakes beside those ignored gifts.

This has been going on and on for days ,Sheila still ignores me and my ignored gifts are piling up in front of her room. I sit on the couch ,feeling depressed. I tried talking to her ,but she won't even say a word or look at me. I feel so lonely... She rarely goes outside now , she just locks herself in her room. I can't help it , I feel like I want to cry.

I don't even leave my house anymore these days ,I wish she'd come out of her room...

It's 7 AM in the morning , I hear loud knocks on my front door. Lazily , I open the door. It's my mom and some...men in lab coat. Doctors? Her face is stained with tears , she runs towards me and embraces me
"What has happened to you ,son? Everyone's been so worried... You don't go out these days!",she is almost hysterical.
Why does everyone look at me with such sorrow in their eyes? What's wrong?
The men in lab coat tell me to sit on the couch and they sit in front of me. With their calm voice , they speak, "Are you in a depression?"
"Yes"
"Why?"
"Sheila...My lover...She's been locking herself in her room ,refuses to talk or eat..."
The doctors look at each other ,then glance at the pile of gifts in front of her room door .Mom is crying now.
One of the doctors slowly grab my hands , his expression pained. He slowly speaks,"Son... Let it go. She's not here anymore. She's gone".


Yes , I remember now .Days ago , she was angry with me and refused to talk to me. I bought her gifts and waited for her to come home........ She never did.
All I received was a call from her crying sister saying,"She's gone"
Car crash , just like that - I've lost everything.
I couldn't accept it...I keep replaying memories of our last day together.
I wish I'd spent more time with her , remember her special days... If only I wasn't so focused on my ambitions and realize what is truly important.
I'm sorry
I'm sorry.... I'm so sorry

Ever Thought of This?

Have you ever thought of this?
The flow of life goes on and on the same way
The gears that keep us alive turn again and again
Each and everyday seems same but they are actually different days
Sometimes it's like P!nk's song,
"You gotta get up and try and try and try"
Life drags everyone down , nevertheless we still stand
Sometimes it becomes "Fancy" lyrics
There is technically no highway from LA to Tokyo
Still , we sing along cluelessly or just for fun
Sometimes it's like Usher's song
Moving mountains indeed is impossible
Maybe our life is dull
Maybe it is boring
Maybe it is full of pain , sorrow , laughter
But if we pay attention to little things ,life is indeed beautiful
See those sparks' in kids' eyes?
See how blue the sky is?
See how small plants grow between grey cracks of the wall?
Maybe you think you are sad and lonely
But trust me , you are not the only one
Try stepping out of your little sanctuary
And you will see that it's not only you
Our eyes will look into yours
Our ears will listen to your words
Each words containing emotions
Ours arms will be there to embrace you
Life might be a huge mess right now
But this too will pass
Take my hand and let us walk this path together
Whatever happens , happens.
Have a nice day!