I hate this sight.
I hate seeing all these stupid lovebirds strolling around
this shopping mall. Air is cold, Christmas decorations are all over. Funny how
places decorated for Christmas always look brighter and sparkling. Don’t get me
wrong, I do like the sense of tranquility Christmas emits but I hate seeing all
the happy families and couples. Yes, I admit I am such a killjoy.
Earlier today, our lecturer decided to leave early and now
here I am…Bored as ever among all these people. It is getting cold but I don’t
feel like going home. Why should I go home? Home doesn’t even feel like… home.
My so-called “home” is a small apartment room with nobody inside. I left home
last year because I couldn’t stand my parents arguing every day. When I told
them to just separate, they used me as an excuse to carry on.
Do me a favor and answer: How is forcing to be together good
for your child? Unhappy household is the most lethal toxic for children, at
least I believe so. For years, I’ve watched them arguing and living without any
happiness. I was never happy at all. I don’t even feel like being with my
classmates who are busy gossiping about how their parents bought them latest
smartphone. Those kinds of stories are sickening, okay? I stare at my
wristwatch-In thirty minutes, I’d have to head to my part time workplace. Just
a simple donut shop.
I quicken my walking pace and head to the shop.
***
The
donut shop “DONUT CASTLE” is crowded as ever, selling tons of special Christmas
edition donuts. There are red velvet donuts, berry and mint donuts, gingerbread
donuts, Santa-shaped donuts and a box full of cute mini Christmas donuts. My colleague,
Mary, is beside me humming a song. Incidentally, she is also the only friend I
have.
“You
sound chirpy, Mary. Something good happened?”
“Nah,
just that my usual joint is having a sale on cosmetics”
“Hmmm…I
see”
Mary
is the kind of girl who is very updated when it comes to fashion, make up and
trends. She’s a blonde 167 cm tall girl who’s very fashionable and pretty.
Guests of this shop will always glance at her with pinkish cheeks. I asked her
before why she didn’t try being a model but she said that she doesn’t like
being recognized by a huge mass of people.
“You
know”, Mary spoke, ”I’ve always said this to you but why don’t you try?”
“Try?”
“You
know, fashion trends, make up… You’re actually cute you know”
“I
just…don’t like that kind of thing”
“It’s
kind of a waste. Just give me two hours and I can make you look TOTALLY
different”
I
just laugh, ”Maybe I will take your offer when there is a big event or party”
“Are you still… Kind of traumatized about two years ago?”
Two years ago, huh? It felt like yesterday. My dad has
always been a huge loser, he never loved us at all. I swore all men off, I hate
them…I wish I kept hating them two years ago. There was this cute guy who…Made
me believe in men once again. He was kind, loving and everything I ever wished
for. He treated me like a princess and made me feel whole… Until he left me
like a trash.
I guess all men are trash
I know what you’re going to tell me now : Don’t judge the
whole ocean just because of a drop of seawater or other sayings but I seriously
don’t feel a thing anymore upon seeing the males of human race. I feel like
they will hurt me eventually, I have to build my walls.
I have to…
“Hey”
I look up and meet the eyes of a young man with glasses. He’s
wearing casual shirt and jeans with white coat,his hands tucked into the
pockets.
“Ummm… One hot Americano and two sugar donuts, takeaway”
“Coming right up”
I stuff two donuts into a small box, “Need some extra sugar?”
“Ah no, thank you. My grandma can’t eat too much sugar”
Too much info, but I’m intrigued, “Grandma?”
“Yeah, I’m visiting her for a short while. She likes the
donuts here, even though doctors told her not to”
I just laugh and hand him his orders,”That’d be ten dollars”
“Here you go”
“Thanks”
***
Since then, the man frequently visits our shop. Sometimes to
buy donuts and other time just for coffee. There’s something enchanting when I
see him sitting on the small table and chair at the shop’s corner , reading his
book. At times, I wonder what he’s reading about
Seeing him has become a part of my life
And I love his voice when he talks to his grandma, so gently
and full of love. Before long, I wonder how it feels to be loved by him. I
think this is just how human brains are designed. We fall, we cry, we stand up…And
fall again.
We seek for love, no matter how any times it breaks us down.
We build walls but wait for that one person who will break the walls. We say we
are fed up but we still wish for more. Ironically, you always have fallen to
deep when you actually realize it.
Then one day, he comes to the counter.
“Donuts as usual?”
“That and one more thing”
“Berry donut? It’s our current best seller”
“May I have your number, Sheila?”,he said while staring at
my name tag
I chuckle and smile
The air is still cold as ever and I hate crowds, but for
once I don’t hate the people anymore. The scent of coffee flutters through the
shop, I guess this year’s Christmas will be a bit warmer
